Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Questions I Never Heard

I don't always hear things correctly. When I respond to something entirely different than what was actually said, I realize by the looks I get how inappropriate I've been.

I also come across as someone with whom people can be open, honest, and say strange things. So in honor of yesterday's random conviction that I would be arrested and last night's looooong dream about cleaning my microwave (yeah, I'm on a wave of weird right now), I'm giving you a taste of questions I've asked or thought I heard.


"So you said there's a dead foot in your car?"

That's what I thought he said. He actually asked if I could fit a bookshelf in my car. It isn't the same.

"It's going to shit. In a handbasket. Who even WANTS shit in a handbasket?"

It's a valid question.

"You want to be me? You want my job? Then you're going to be constantly hounded to wear a slutty nurse costume."

Yeah, I had a job (err, boss) like that.

"What eunuchs are you planning to do?" "Um, I don't do eunuchs."

I'm surprised people don't confuse "eunuchs" and "units" more often. I can't be the only one. My professor seemed to think I was, however.

PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one who occasionally makes these mistakes!


Sid Prince said...

Sorry. You're the only one.


I mean...


Zorah said...

I was doing a group project a couple years ago about popular music. For the first 30 minutes of the conversation, I thought we were talking about a song called "Drop It Like A Tot". I kept going on and on about the implications of child abuse...I eventually figured it out.

Anonymous said...

haha I've done that a few times. My worst problem though is that when someone asks me a question, I say "What?" and while they are repeating it I realize what they said the first time and interrupt them with my answer.

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

As I am becoming ever more positive that I caught the stomach flu from my son, I can't come up with any examples. Rest assured you are not alone and my husband is always there to correct me.

Sara said...

Okay, this happens to me CONSTANTLY, but of course I can't think of a single example.

The best I can do is create a likely scenario usually involving my parents and I.

Mom: We're having chili for dinner.
Sara: Cool. Should I make cornbread?
Dad: (from the kitchen) What about a gnome?

Sara said...

I'm sorry. "...involving my parents and ME."

Ugh, this town is killing my grammar.