Thursday, September 16, 2010

How to Be an Online Stalker Without Being a Real-Life Creep

Over Labor Day weekend, I was thrilled to play [an often-lost] tour guide to a friend who visited me from Virginia. We went on the Seattle Lust Tour, the Underground Seattle Tour, shopped till I really thought I might drop, wine tasted, visited Lenin and the Fremont Troll, and got caught in a spontaneous dance party in the middle of downtown Seattle one night.

It was great.

But one activity was marred by the Weird.

Megan and I decided that we’d take the ferry out from the Seattle waterfront to Bainbridge Island, so we bought tickets and boarded.

“Do you have a sister named Katie?” Some guy popped into my line of vision, seemingly from nowhere, to ask me this question.

“Yes. Who are you?” I demanded in a pleasant fashion.

“I’m her friend!” he chirped. “Can I take your picture?”

Megan and I looked stupidly at one another, wondering what was happening. We took too long to formulate an answer, however, because he whipped out a professional-looking camera (also the type used by paparazzi and stalkers – zoom lens) and snapped several pictures.

“Thanks! Bye!”


I spoke to my sister this past weekend to ask her how this buddy knows who I am. She puzzled for a moment, then admitted it was probably through Facebook pictures.

Commence learning moment. Not for people like me who post pictures, but for people like him who act like they KNOW PEOPLE they’ve NEVER MET because they’ve MEMORIZED PICTURES OF STRANGERS.

It doesn’t go over well.

Moral of the story is, if you’re going to do this -- and I’ve heard quite a few people do… I have no personal experience as I’m too busy living a life of glamour and excitement – make sure you stay anchored to reality enough to remember with whom you’ve actually had conversations, and with whom you’ve only imagined entire conversations/friendships/relationships/movies.


Matt said...

Strange... I have randomly poked cute people and a number of them are online friends but that story sounded odd. I would likely be unsettled.

That being said can I, in a very never meet you, only reading your online blog, stalk you? B) Oh wait right... that means follow your blog and make inane comments from time to time. Never mind, forget I said anything... ;)

Good to see you back online.

Anonymous said...

Ewww. Ick and creepy.

Sara said...

I don't know who Matt is, but I think it's equally creepy that he pokes cute people. I mean, what about the uggos?

And I would NOT have appreciated any stranger knowing my name and asking to take my picture.

That's when you yell "STRANGER DANGER!" and start flailing wildly until the ferry fuzz shows up.

Matt said...

Sara, one minor correction... lets say clarification. Poked on Facebook. Not IRL. L That would be a little awkward lets say. ;)