45 Things That Don't Make Me Gnash My Teeth

Yesterday I suggested you take a look at Havi's list of 77 Things That Don't Completely Suck. Today I'm doing my own version, because while it's hard to be actually thankful without pumpkin pie, I can admit there are a few things in life that aren't causing much gnashing of teeth.

Havi poured some lentils into a bowl and they added up to 77. I poured out my bottle of Aleve, and there were 45 pills. So welcome to my list of 45 Things That Don't Make Me Gnash My Teeth.

1. I'm drinking a soy peppermint mocha.
2. I think I'm recovering from the week-long Festival of Food... my belly is no longer faking a pregnancy.
3. The Nutella cream pie I made yesterday went over well.
4. The turkey I helped my friend Laura cook turned out really well. Minor miracle, since neither of us really had any idea what we were doing. We wore gloves and disinfected with Clorox wipes all day.
5. I watched TV yesterday for the first time in forever... oh my gosh I love commercials and Myth Busters.
6. When I tell people I'm moving, they're all sad and teary and asking when I'm coming back to visit (unless they're west coast friends... those ones cheer and demand we start scheduling the next six months of fun-ness).
7. The idea of moving has made me start appreciating some aspects of this town I took for granted.
8. Like traffic that doesn't suck all the time.
9. Like warm weather in November (high 70s? yes, please).
10. Like being able to drive no more than 15 minutes if I want to see friends.
11. Like getting coffee with former professors so I can retain some of my academic brain cells.
12. I have fantastic glasses.
13. My hair is really amazing, too. Because I'm being honest here.
14. People like Laura make me happy because when I went over to her house to help her cook a turkey, she met me at the door with a horrified look on her face and told me that turkeys were gross and I'd be the one handling the corpse and taking out the innards but she had gloves for me to wear. And she took pictures.
15. She also gave me toothpicks so I could stab the neck flaps of the turkey together. That was nice.
16. Laura is also the kind of person you can call when you're sad. She will tell you nice things or feed you.
17. Amy is another good friend, and she will tell you nice things but not always in the gushiest and nicest way... so you know you can trust what she says.
18. I also got a great text message last night wishing me a happy Thanksgiving while simultaneously calling me a hooker. That made me smile.
19. Trevor promises to wear a light-up Christmas sweater in public. Do I have to explain why that is wonderful?
20. Ashley promised me that I will always have a job as a carnie if I need one. She also is teaching me the proper vocabulary for that profession.
21. I still have a lot of cookies in my kitchen.
22. There are people who understand my sense of humor (that is far from being everyone).
23. I've just been informed that understanding my sense of humor takes some practice... so that means that for the people who do get me, they're willing to put in the effort. That's kind of awesome. It's probably because of my hair.
24. I have small ears. I'm really glad about that.
25. I won the first round of Pit the other night. I hate that game, I didn't want to play that game, so victory was twice as sweet.
    
26. There is a sequel to "The Hunger Games" that I didn't know about until recently. I'm going to read it on the flight to Washington.
27. Tonight is Milkshake Night.
28. I assign homework. While grading isn't fun, it's more fun to be the teacher who evilly gives out projects before the holidays than the students who have to do them. Bwahaha.
29. It's nice that I haven't had to birth a child. Teleporting them out of womb: that is the way of the future.
30. I am wearing "nice clothes" from the waist up, and pajamas from the waist down. This is kind of my uniform unless I'm in a classroom.
31. Puppy play-time yesterday was fun.
32. On Sunday, I discovered I'd lost some weight... making me the lightest I've been in about a year, and thinner than is a good idea. This doesn't make me gnash my teeth because it happened right before the Thanksgiving Stuff-a-thon, so now it's like I'm normal even though I ate enough for a small country.
33. The Book of Revelation fell out of my Bible. I've never really understood or liked it, so now I don't have to worry about it anymore.
34. I have a dishwasher.
35. Oooh, project that I'm completely excited about! Wish it had been my idea, but thrilled that someone thought I'd be a good addition to the Top Secret Team of Awesomeness.
    
36. The heat came on just now, which is utterly fantastic because I was thinking about how I was probably going to curl up and fall asleep and die of hypothermia. That is what made more sense than me putting on more clothes or turning up the thermostat.
37. Shoes.
38. The painting I have of my Grandpa Jack dancing with my two-year-old self at a wedding.
39. Hearing from readers, friends, or stalkers (or all of the above) that something rotten was going on, and out of the angry soul bubbled up the words, "I am too pretty for this!" Good to know I helped out.
    
40. Blackened chicken pasta. Yum.
41. Equally good in an entirely different way: weird dream-inducing kosher dogs at The Weenie Stand.
42. Blog comments (especially ones like what Sara wrote on yesterday's post). If you write, you know what I mean.
    
43. Sleeping in on Black Friday. I don't need anything that much.
44. No "work" this week. Again, a benefit of teaching.
45. I have a smartphone that is smarter than me (one day, when it starts mocking me, I will be sorry I ever bought it).

Are there other things that might qualify as gnashing-less? Sure. I'll probably think of them later, and I'll probably wonder why in the world I included my ears on this list. But that's okay, because it isn't definitive, this isn't Thanksgiving, and it's all true right now.

What about you? Anything that doesn't completely suck or definitely doesn't make you gnash your teeth?

Thanksgivingly Making Messes

If you live outside the United States (or inside them and in a cave somewhere), you might not know it's Thanksgiving.

That wouldn't be a problem if you were in the kitchen with me now, because you'd smell the turkey in the oven (I've never cooked a turkey before!), see the sweet potatoes cooking on the stovetop, and could peek into the fridge to check out a Nutella cream pie setting. And I'd probably slap you upside the head if you asked why there was so much food and then exclaim, "It's Thanksgiving! Be thankful for something while you help me clean up the mess I made in here."

So I'm busy making messes and food today, but I'll be back here tomorrow if I've woken from my food coma. Meanwhile, I think you should check out Havi's list of 77 Things That Don't Completely Suck... I might follow her lead tomorrow instead of punching elderly ladies in the face for a Black Friday discount on the last pair of socks.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Day Seven: First I Must Breathe

I'm going to get accused of a cop-out. I can feel it.

But if you know me at all, you know this is truly a step toward slight improvement: today, I will make a concerted effort to relax.

For many reasons outside and inside my control, I get stressed out. My eyes glaze over, my neck muscles and veins become unusually defined, and I think I even snarl occasionally. Is any of this helpful? No, of course not. But it's something that just seems to happen, and cheery Care Bear thoughts don't snap me out of it.

So first, I took a few minutes to stretch out on my back and do some deep breathing. This slowed my heart rate (which had been accelerated to stress AND four cups of coffee), helped ease my muscles, and rethink my day.

The second thing I did was head over to Subway to buy a sandwich. Why is this relaxing to me? Because I rarely eat fast food, preferring to eat something healthy and possibly boring at home. But I gave myself permission to eat something easy that I was craving, and now feel soooo much better. Maybe my body needed carbs? Or sliced onions?

The third thing I did to relax was some intrapersonal communication (See, kids? You WILL use some of those terms you learned in speech class!). I had an internal conversation with myself about what was stressing me out today, and how I could make it manageable.

"Christina," I said in my warmest internal voice, "Let's write a list of the things that need to get done, okay?"

"Only if there are checkboxes," I grumped in reply. "I want to make Xs when I'm done with stuff."

"That's a great idea!" my kind, reasonable self enthused. "And if you do one or two of the easier tasks, you're going to feel a sense of accomplishment which might help this stress funk we're in. And remember: you have all day to get this done."

So I'm sitting here at my computer, pecking away and making big black Xs on my checklist. And guess what? Between the extra oxygen in my brain, the onions in my belly, and the joy of listmaking, I am much less stressed.

What do you do to ease stress?

It's the last day of our Week of Slight Improvements! Congratulations to those of you who have stuck it out and those of you who tried. What three things did you work on today? Anything about the week you want to share? Talk to me in the comments!

Three Pretty Things : 11/15

Wow, what a week. I know I'm not alone when I say that it seemed like it took forever... and not because I was so busy making great memories.

But the truth is, I DID make some great memories (Friday the 13th party!), I ate some great food (uh, did you see all the chocolate I made?), and I saw some really pretty things. Here are this week's Three Pretty Things.
It looks like either the moon or Epcot, but in reality it's a building on one of the college campuses where I teach.

I love autumn colors, and I also love the organic, lacy web created by those bare tree branches.

The photo seemed to be of better quality when I saw it on my iPhone screen, but seeing the city spangled out in multi-colored crystal lights... I couldn't help but include this picture.

Tomorrow we can go back to talking about slight self-improvements, but today I just want to focus on appreciating a beautiful life (and 76 degree weather).

As you think back over your week, tell me: what made it pretty?

Day Two: Improved By Chocolate

Okay, I have to admit that I'm already really glad that so many of you are doing this Slight Improvement Project with me... because today I did NOT feel like it. But knowing that you were working at it -- and would ask about my efforts -- kept me honest.

I woke up in a bad mood. So it kind of made sense that today was the day I'd work on being nice to people. Ugh.

But here's how I'm making it work: I'm feeding people chocolate.

Mmm, brownies...

Yeah, this looks a lot like the brownies, but it's actually a chocolate genoise... and that Nutella will soon be used to make a mousse. Yum!

These cupcakes are coming with me to a meeting I'm attending in a little while... don't really want to go, but thought food would make it better for everyone.

Not only am I fulfilling my obligation to doing something good three times, but I actually am feeling happier and more kindly toward the world.

Sidenote: That last phrase -- "kindly toward the world" -- immediately made me think of a saint in a medieval icon, with soft doe eyes and gentle hands lifted in blessing. That's not quite how I'm acting yet.

Jealous of the chocolate goodies? Want to tell me about your Day 2? Inspired to send me money? I'd like to hear all of that in the comments.

Got Manure?

When life hands you a life full of manure...

Go inside, clean up, and bake cookies.
You didn't think I had a new use for horse shit, did you?