Sunday, April 11, 2010

Me And My Straight Teeth

Last week, a friend and I arranged to get together and make dinner. We hadn't seen one another in a long time and were looking forward to catching up.

She reminded me of a story I knew I had to tell all of you, because it really IS a "too pretty" moment.

My aforementioned friend hosted a birthday bash in early March. I knew her and a few of her friends, but having lived out of state for eight years, this wasn't a gathering of my closest and dearest.

Halfway through the evening, I was chit chatting on a couch with a few other people when I was targeted as an object of flirtation. Guy comes over, leans suavely on the back of the couch, and says:

"You have really straight teeth."

Me and my straight teeth.

What? Dude, if you want to use a memorable line, make sure it's memorable because I'm flattered and not because you come across like a moron.

I smile my tight-lipped I'm-pretending-to-be-nice smile, and told him my former orthodontist would be happy to hear it.

Since his first line didn't go over well, this guy reached into his bag of pick-up tricks for the next winner:

"You know, you look just like that girl from Sex and the City!"

Now I'm irritated, and decide that my good friend will either forgive me or stop inviting me to these things if I misbehave.

"Are you calling me a SLUT?" came the shrill response.

"What?! No, no... I meant that girl in the show! The one with the curly hair and shoes!" The guy fumbles, unsure why I'm not thrilled the way Dating for Dummies said I would be upon mention of Every Girl's Favorite Show.

"Well, now I know which slut you're comparing me to, so I guess that's good," I say, mentally adding that she's the one who cheated on Aidan and looks like a horse. "But she's not even one of the pretty ones."

"Uh..." he stutters, looking around desperately for help. His Ed Hardy-clad friends had vaporized, apparently, because he was all alone.

I took pity on his poor soul, and just turned around and began a conversation with a stunned onlooker. But I felt warm and fuzzy on the inside, which is what happens when you teach someone something valuable and improve their lives. Like Helen Keller's teacher, Annie Sullivan, or even Ron Clark today... same thing. This is what fulfills us.

Once an educator, always an educator.


Anonymous said...

haha I love your reaction. Most girls would have been like OMG I DO?!? THANKS! even if it was the most whorish one, Samantha.

I love shooting down lame guys' pick up lines. Always a good powerful moment!

Bethany said...

LOL! Your reaction was the best- I'd have said something similar I believe :)

Sara said...

"Now I'm irritated, and decide that my good friend will either forgive me or stop inviting me to these things if I misbehave."


I love that even in social situations, you'll pause for a teaching moment.

I continue to think you're really neat.

A said...

Wow. Maybe your response will deter him from further foolishness.

Jennifer Lynn said...

Male eductaion is a time-consuming endeavor......a burden laid on capable shoulders;)

Janelle said...

I'll forgive you. ;-) But who was wearing Ed Hardy at my party?? Him - I will NOT forgive.


Ashley said...

I still can't believe she cheated on aidan! Your teeth are quite nice though!

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Joel said...
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Joel said...

Poor guy. You must have such an amazing set of teeth that's why he fumbled with that as his first line to start a conversation.

Come to think of it, every girl is aiming for that perfect straight teeth. My sister have had invisalign, Chicago installed, for quite some years now. In her case she needs to opt for sedation dentistry (Chicago and other places) since she dreads any treatment. Fortunately, that did the trick and she is almost done with the aligners.

I really had fun reading this post. Definitely a good way to put a guy in his place. Thanks!

Jeffrey said...

It's very nice that you have very straight teeth. At least you don't need to have braces to straighten them. Not like my sister, she had crowded teeth before but her Greenville, SC, dentists already fix them with Invisalign. Now she have pretty smile just like yours! Cheers for both of you!

Stopher said...

I think you look more like a younger Mary-Louise Parker. Is that an ok comparison. I've only seen a few episodes of Weeds but she was totally not a slut on the West Wing.